


Follow your Shadows Home

by BluSail



Series: Death is a shield and Life a sword [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Autism Spectrum, Autistic Hop, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, NEVER incest god i hate clarifying that but never ever, No Incest, Pre-Canon, Yet ANOTHER rival i wish to lose to because i feel rotten beating, it's not mentioned really but yes he is stimming practically the whole fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21635518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluSail/pseuds/BluSail
Summary: Hop runs his hands over his brother’s knuckles before settling on letting Lee guide him home. Hop appreciates the pressure of having his hand held without the babying from his mother or teacher.It probably has to do with the fact Hop is guiding them home more than Lee knows how to get home.
Relationships: Hop & Leon
Series: Death is a shield and Life a sword [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559467
Comments: 15
Kudos: 219





	Follow your Shadows Home

Hop feels it the day before Lee leaves for the Gym Challenge. 

They’re sitting on the wooloo enclosure fences, and Hop is attempting to wave one over. Leon is cross-legged, balanced and laughs as he keeps Hop from falling off the edge. They spent the whole day together, and Hop barely feels the sting knowing he can't see Leon off, as he has to go to school. But Lee and Mom let Hop pack his backpack. Lee explaining as Hop fiddled with each item, before putting them in the bag by color (“That’s a paralyze he- no don’t spray it!-”). Hop was then delegated to pick out Leon’s hat, while their mom helped Leon with his camping set. 

Overall, Hop is happy his brother gets to do something as fun as skip school to play with pokemon.

“You can’t call her over if you keep making so much noise,” Leon says, and Hop turns to him mouth gaping.

“But they can’t hear!”

“Why not?” 

Hop pulls his jacket up, the wonderful wool against his ears, everything muffled. 

“They can’t hear!”

Leon laughs hard, and nods. He hooks his hands under Hop’s arms and puts him down. Leon is tall, taller than the fence and even the gate to his school. Hop runs his hands over his brother’s knuckles before settling on letting Lee guide him home. Hop appreciates the pressure of having his hand held without the babying from his mother or teacher. It probably has to do with the fact Hop is guiding them home more than Lee knows how to get home.

“Are you sure I can’t come with you?”

Leon looks down at him, shaking his head. “You gotta get a little bit bigger first.”

Hop frowns, pulling at his hand. “I’m not big, but at least I know what left and right are!”

“Hey!”

Hop sticks his tongue out and Leon groans, poking him in the cheek. “Since when are YOU bratty? You’re not being very nice to the future champion.”

“Since when are YOU going to be the champion?” They turn and the tall ginger-haired girl is looking at them. Hop hums, holding tighter to Leon’s hand when he feels him pull away. 

Leon squeezes his hand, before prying away to speak to the girl. Hop huffs, standing behind him while they brag and use words Hop doesn’t get quite yet. 

Hop looks down at their shadows, and steps back to back with Leon, perfectly covered by Lee’s shadow. The shadow crawls down the dirt path, and Hop stands on his tiptoes to see if it goes all the way back home. 

He feels a hand pat his head, and he looks up.

“Come on, don’t you wanna meet Sonia? She’s really nice, it’ll be more fun than using me as a sunshade.” Hop peers between Lee’s legs, looking up at the lady before smiling wide and waving.

Hope lets the moment pass.

* * *

The next, next morning, Lee is not home. Hop sits at the kitchen table across an empty chair, and his mother chides him for his misplaced shoes at the door. Instead of racing Leon to school, Hop is running without reason and has to run back to the gate when he passes it. 

“Did you do the homework?”

“ Ain’t your brother here?”

“Why were you running so fast? Someone chasing you?”

Hop answers them all at once, breathless. “Nope.”

Bailey is the tallest now that Leon’s gone, and she sneers. “That’s weird, why are you being weird?”

Hop blinks, looking up at her. “It’s fun.”

The other kids murmur, look away, and the teacher calls them inside, and that’s the end of it.

* * *

A few days later, Hop finds himself playing tag with the younger kids at the school for once. Normally he follows Lee or plays with the older kids, but most are doing the gym challenge or ignoring him. Each time someone asks about Leon though, Hop only grows louder. The repeated answers have only built up his excitement about the Gym Challenge.

“He’s doing the gym challenge, and he’s doing it with Sonia. Sonia is really nice, she’s the research lady’s granddaughter and she’s smart and has a Yamper and-”

“Hop shut up!” Bailey shouts, and the schoolyard erupts into giggles, so Hop laughs too. The boy next to him frowns though.

“Why are you laughing too?” The boy asks, holding his ball closer to himself.

“Why not?” 

“Because she’s making fun of you!”

“Does it matter?” The boy scowls and throws his ball at the wall.

“If she bullies you, she’ll bully me too. So you should stop being weird if you wanna be friends.” 

Hop decides that while he didn’t like Bailey apparently making fun of him, he didn’t like the boy either. But he doesn’t want to be weird or alone so he stops talking for the rest of the day. But it feels like the words build up in his chest, so no matter how annoyed the teacher gets, he can’t stop fidgeting. He ends up being sent to stand in the hallway when he starts humming too loudly and pretends not to notice the snickering.

* * *

It’s only when the day ends, that Hop feels tired. His shadow is small, barely reaching in front of him when he hears Bailey and the others laughing behind him. He tries to make out what they’re saying, but his head is pounding. He wants water but remembers Lee’s not here to have a spare or to let him sit on his shoulders. Lee’s not here to tuck his shoes into the right corner or to argue with him over what to eat for breakfast. Lee’s not here to be guided around the school hallways, lost out in the big wild area or the tall stadiums.

Hop wonders if Lee can follow his shadow all the way back home.

Hop looks at the gate shadow, getting longer and longer until Hop is still standing there. The sun had set hours ago, and Hop feels nonexistent. He wonders when’s the last time someone talked to him about anything other than Leon or how weird he was.

Leon's shadow never makes it back, but Hop's already racing back home.

He swings the door open, letting it hit the wall, and he kicks off his shoes. He drops his bag at the bottom of the stairs and runs up, skidding to a stop before Leon’s room. His face is wet, and he can hear his mother calling up from the living room, but. But Leon’s room is empty and quiet and too big for Hop.

Hop hiccups, trying to calm himself but his whole body is tense, and his lips are bleeding from how hard he’s bitten them. He flops down on Leon’s bed, and rocks himself even when feels his mom’s hands rubbing his back. She’s confusing him because he can hear her questions but for some reason, Hop doesn't understand. The stress doubles and he swats her hand away.

“STOP.” and he immediately feels guilty when she looks away, but everything feels like too much and he can’t control his volume. He flops back, before pulling his jacket over his ears, feeling the softness help, if barely. 

“Is it too bright?” His mother whispers and Hop thinks, before nodding. The lights go off, and instead of coming back to his side, she stands by the doorway talking into the phone. Hop buries back into the jacket and feels his face heat up over how much he cried.

“Hop?” His head snaps back, and his mom is placing the phone into his hands, and he sits up against the wall, sniffling. 

“Oh, Hop.” Leon doesn’t sound disappointed, but he looks tired and worried and that makes him cry even more.

“Everyone misses you.” but for the first time in a while, Leon doesn’t have to pry the words out of him to understand what Hop is saying. Leon sighs, and fidgets with the side of the phone.

“I miss you too, but I'm sure we've both made so many new friends! and we'll get to have such-” There’s rustling in the background, and Leon hushes someone off-camera. Hop feels worst for it, but he starts crying louder, and Leon looks even more stressed and confused.

“Come on buddy, it’s alright, you’ll see me on TV and once I get the chance to visit-”

“But you can’t! You don’t know how! You’ll just get lost!” Leon’s eyebrows scrunch up, and he glares off-screen, before looking down sympathetically.

“Hop, you wanna know why I’ll be ok?” Hop nods vigorously, and Lee smiles.

“I’ve got you! You’ll get so big, and if I get lost, you’ll come running to show me how to get home.”

Lee frowns, looking down at the flickering connection, giving Hop a moment to catch his breath. Hop never thought about that- about being bigger or keeping Leon safe. But it makes sense, it soothes him to know that Leon needs him too.

“Hop, do you need to talk-” and Hop starts rambling, everything crashing down. He doesn’t feel better talking about how he avoids his classmates or all the things he does by himself now. But Hop tells him anyways.

Leon frowns but doesn't interrupt and only comments when necessary. The days of loneliness ebbs away and Hop’s mother rejoins them at some point. She drabs a large, warm blanket over them that makes Lee laugh at how it engulfs Hop. At one point he leaves to wash his face, leaving his mother and brother to talk but he feels refreshed and happy. So Hop asks about the challenge and Leon smiles wide when Hop laughs and parrot him unrestrained.

Even miles away, Leon is still his older brother, and they’re laughing together in a smaller way. That’s enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! I gotta admit, I really like Swsh and once again, the rival gives me a lot of emotions because he reminds me of a close friend I had and Leon reminds me of my older sister so I HELLA relate to hop. I don't know if I'll write more since I haven't finished the game either lol and I wrote this last night with sparse editing. 
> 
> Most of my fanfiction is just me projecting, and this is no different, but I must admit that I'm NOT autistic so if I fucked up anywhere, please let me know! Also if you find any typos or formatting issues, Grammarly can only do so much.
> 
> ((Also if you read Dad Reigen, I'm really sorry about how long it's taking me to update. Between school and art projects, I've been sadly putting it on the back burner. I might just stop giving longer updates, and put smaller chapters out but again sorry for the wait))


End file.
